Porn is love you can see.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
