You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize