Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize