I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize