i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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