Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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