I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
