beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
