i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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