I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
