Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
