Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs