Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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