i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
