I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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