Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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