It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
