I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
