one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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