Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
