Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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