And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
