Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
