How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
