I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
