He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
