There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
