mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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