Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
