I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I cannot find my penis.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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