So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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