I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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