I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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