I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to make out with him forever
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
