D3 body, D1 cock
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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