Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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