Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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