No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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