Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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