even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
