Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
