I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Do vagina's smell?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
