This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
