my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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