But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
