Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Randomize
