Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize
