Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
