This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
