I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.