uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here