first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.