Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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