Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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