11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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