i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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