the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
