never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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