do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize