ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
