i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
