the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
